When an estate planning client asks “how do I make sure this does not ruin my kids?”, the documents can only answer part of it. Blackburn Mentoring is a resource you can mention for the other part: one dedicated mentor who works one-on-one with a teen or young adult on direction, work, routines, decisions and everyday money habits. The family decides whether to engage us, we give no legal, tax or financial advice, and nothing comes back to your office unless the client and the young person agree in writing.
The question behind the plan
Estate planning conversations surface worries that are not legal questions at all. Clients tell you that a son has no motivation, that a daughter has never held a job, or that they are not sure their children are ready to know what is coming. Those worries often shape drafting choices: staggered distributions, incentive provisions, a trust protector, a letter of wishes. They do not, by themselves, build the habits the client is hoping for.
Research on motivation suggests why. Behavior driven only by an outside reward tends to fade when the reward does, while goals a person has chosen for their own reasons tend to last (Ryan and Deci, American Psychologist, 2000). Legal scholarship on incentive trusts has also pointed out that conditions written years in advance can fit poorly with the life the beneficiary actually lives (Tate, Real Property, Probate and Trust Journal, 2006). A mentor works on the person, week by week, which no provision can do.
Moments when mentioning mentoring makes sense
- During design: a client is weighing incentive or staggered provisions because they doubt a child’s readiness. Mentoring is something they can start now, while they are alive to see it.
- At signing or a plan review: the client asks what else they should be doing. Pointing them to practical help for the next generation is a useful answer that stays outside your scope.
- When a family meeting is planned: a young adult is about to learn more about the family’s plans. A mentor can help them think through what they want to do with their own life, separate from the money. See our guide to family meetings with young adults.
- After a death or incapacity: a young beneficiary loses the parent who provided structure. Alongside the professionals you are already coordinating, a steady outside mentor can help with school, work and daily routine.
What mentoring is, in plain terms
- One mentor, the same person every week, working one-on-one by video anywhere in the United States or in person in Los Angeles.
- Work on what the young person is actually doing: school or a job, a schedule, applications, a budget they keep, decisions they are facing and what they want their life to be about.
- For high school students, parents are involved and receive progress updates. For young adults, the young adult decides what is shared and with whom.
- Not therapy, not financial literacy instruction and not legal or tax guidance. We tell families honestly when another kind of help fits better. When a client family needs therapy or psychiatry, Blackburn Clinical Services, our sister practice, has a page for estate planning and family law attorneys.
Your role, and what comes back to you
Your role can end at the mention. You do not need to make an introduction, attend the intro call or coordinate anything. If your client wants you kept informed, we can share engagement level only (for example, that sessions are happening as planned) and only with the written consent of the young adult, or of the parents for a minor. We do not send detailed reports, and we never need estate documents, figures or the terms of any trust.
Referring is informal, and nothing on this page suggests any existing relationship between our organizations. It simply explains how a referral works if you think mentoring would help a client.
When a client asks how to tell whether a child is prepared for a scheduled distribution, our free trust distribution readiness checklist gives the family a structured starting point without anyone typing information that leaves their browser.
A sentence you can use with clients
“The documents set up what your children receive. If you want help with who they become in the meantime, there are one-on-one mentors who work with teens and young adults on direction, work and habits. Here is a page you can read on your own time.”
Point parents to raising responsible young adults in high net worth families or preparing young adults for an inheritance if they want to read before they call.
Related
- Mentoring for advisors and attorneys (hub)
- For trust officers and professional trustees
- For wealth advisors and family offices
- Mentoring for family business successors
- Next generation mentoring
Common questions
Do you give legal, tax or estate planning advice?
No. Mentors work on habits, work, decisions and direction. Every legal, tax and financial question stays with the family’s attorney and advisers.
Will you contact my client after I mention you?
No. The family reaches out if and when they choose. We never contact anyone on the basis of a referral alone.
Can my office receive updates?
Only engagement level, such as whether sessions are happening as planned, and only with written consent from the young adult, or from the parents for a minor. We do not provide detailed reports.
What ages do you work with?
High school students (with parents involved), college students, young adults and young professionals.
Is there a formal referral agreement?
No. Referring is informal: the family chooses whether to start, and we coordinate with you only with their written consent. If your firm needs a written arrangement, contact us to talk it through.
Get started
Want to talk through a client situation in general terms, without names? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or book a free 20 minute intro call. Mentoring is by video anywhere in the United States and in person in Los Angeles.
Free, by video, 20 minutes, with a member of our team. Weekdays 9 to 5 Pacific.