A first mentoring session is mostly about getting to know each other. The mentor asks about the person’s life, what is going well and what is not, then helps turn that into one or two goals, agrees on a small first step for the week and sets a regular meeting time. Nobody is tested or judged, and nothing has to be figured out all at once.
Before the first session
By the first session, a few things have usually already happened. At Blackburn, the process starts with a short five-minute assessment that our team reviews personally, followed by a free intro call to talk about goals, fit and the plan, and then matching with a mentor. So the mentor arrives with some background and does not need the person to repeat everything from scratch.
For high school students, a parent or guardian joins the intro call and helps agree the goals. The first session itself is usually just the student and the mentor, so the student has room to talk.
What a typical first session looks like
Every mentor works a little differently, but most first sessions cover the same ground:
- Getting to know each other. The mentor shares a bit about themselves and asks about school or work, interests, friends, family, daily routine and what a normal week looks like. This part is relaxed on purpose.
- What is working and what is not. The person talks about what feels hard right now, whether that is grades, motivation, a job search, money or just feeling stuck.
- What they want to be different. The mentor helps put this into words. “I want my life together” becomes something like “turn in every assignment on time this month” or “apply to five jobs by the end of the month.”
- One small first step. Something doable in the next few days. Setting up a calendar, emailing one professor, cleaning one area, going to bed at the same time three nights in a row.
- Scheduling. A regular time each week, plus how and when the mentor will check in by text or phone between sessions.
What a first session is not
- It is not an interview. There are no wrong answers.
- It is not therapy. A mentor does not diagnose or treat anything. If something comes up that needs a licensed professional, the mentor will say so and, with permission, coordinate with professionals already involved.
- It is not a lecture. The person decides what they are working on. The mentor helps them get specific and follow through.
- It is not a full plan on day one. Goals usually get sharper over the first few weeks.
How to prepare (for the person being mentored)
- Think of one or two things that are frustrating right now
- Bring your calendar or phone so you can pick a session time
- Find a quiet, private spot if the session is by video, and keep the camera on
- Be honest about what you have tried before and what did not stick
- It is fine to be unsure. “I don’t really know what I want” is a normal place to start
For parents: how to help without hovering
- Tell your teen or young adult the mentor is on their side, not a spy or a punishment
- Let the first session be theirs; resist asking for a full report afterward
- Expect to hear about goals and progress through regular updates (for adults, with their permission)
- Give it a few weeks before judging whether it is working
More on this in our page for families and mentoring for high school students.
What happens after the first session
From there, sessions settle into a rhythm: 30 or 60 minutes, weekly or several times a week, on a weekly or monthly plan. Each session looks back at last week’s steps, talks honestly about what got done and what got in the way, and sets the next steps. Between sessions, the mentor checks in by text or phone. You can read more about the full process in how mentoring works.
If the first session brings up something heavier, like depression, anxiety, substance use or thoughts of self-harm, the right step is a licensed professional. In a crisis, call or text 988.
Related
- How mentoring works
- Questions to ask before hiring a life coach or mentor
- Online vs in-person mentoring
- Mentoring for young adults
Common questions
How long is a first mentoring session?
At Blackburn, sessions are 30 or 60 minutes, and the first session follows the same plan you chose. Many people find 60 minutes helpful at the start.
What if my teen does not talk much in the first session?
That is common. Mentors expect it and keep the first session low pressure; most teens open up over the first few weeks once they see the mentor is on their side.
What if the mentor is not a good fit?
Say so. Fit matters more than anything else, and it is better to raise it early than to keep going with someone who does not click.
Get started
Ready to set up a first session? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.