To make decisions well, first ask how big and how reversible the choice is, then match the effort to the stakes. For small, undoable choices, decide quickly. For bigger ones, set a deadline, list what matters most, compare a few real options and test before committing. Then decide, act and review later instead of reopening it every day.
Sort the decision first
Not every choice deserves the same amount of thought. Ask two questions:
- How much does it matter in a year? What to eat tonight: not at all. Which job offer to take: quite a lot.
- How easy is it to undo? Trying a new gym can be reversed next month. Signing a lease is harder.
Small and reversible: decide in minutes. Big but reversible: decide in days and plan to adjust. Big and hard to reverse: use the methods below and take the time, but still set a deadline.
Method 1: Set a decision deadline
Open-ended decisions drag on for months. Put a date on your calendar for when you will decide, and list what you need to know before then. When the date comes, decide with what you have. Most extra research past that point rarely changes the answer; it just delays it.
Method 2: Weigh what actually matters
- Write down the three to five things that matter most to you in this choice, such as money, growth, location, people or time.
- Rank them, or give each one a weight from 1 to 3.
- Score each option on each factor from 1 to 5.
- Multiply and add up. Then notice how you feel about the winner.
If the top score feels wrong, that is useful information: one of your factors probably matters more than you admitted. Adjust the weights and look again.
Method 3: Look at it across time
Ask how you will feel about each option in ten minutes, ten months and ten years. Short-term discomfort, like an awkward conversation or a harder first semester, often looks smaller from far away. Another version: picture yourself much older, looking back. Which choice would you regret not making?
Method 4: Test before you commit
Many big decisions can be tried in a small way first:
- Thinking about a new field? Take a short course or have a few informational interviews.
- Considering a move? Spend a long weekend there living like a resident, not a tourist.
- Choosing a major? Take one class in it before declaring. See how to choose a major.
- Considering a career switch? Start with a side project. See career change.
Method 5: Talk it out with one person
Explaining a decision out loud to someone who asks good questions often makes the answer obvious. Pick one person with sound judgment and no stake in the outcome. Asking ten people usually adds noise and makes it harder, not easier.
After you decide
- Write down why you chose what you chose, in two or three sentences.
- Set a check-in date, such as three months out, to review how it is going.
- Until then, stop reopening the question. Put the energy into making the choice work.
- If you catch yourself replaying it, see our guide on how to stop overthinking.
Where a mentor helps
A mentor is a steady sounding board for decisions like which job to take, whether to change majors or move, or what to do after graduation. A mentor does not decide for you; a mentor helps you lay out the options, test them in small ways and follow through. See young adult mentoring and career and education mentoring. For financial, legal or medical decisions, talk with the right licensed professional as well.
Related
- How to stop overthinking
- When you do not know what to do with your life
- How to make a career change
- How to deal with fear of failure
Common questions
How do I make a decision when I am torn between two options?
Set a deadline, list the few factors that matter most, and score both options. If they still tie, pick one, since either is probably fine, and plan to review in a few months.
Why is it so hard for me to make decisions?
Common reasons are fear of choosing wrong, too many options, unclear priorities and no deadline. Narrowing options and setting a date helps.
Should I trust my gut?
Your gut is useful information, especially on decisions in areas you know well. Pair it with a quick written list of what matters so you can see whether the two agree.
How long should a big decision take?
Long enough to gather the key facts and test where you can, but with a set deadline. Weeks, not open-ended months, works for most life decisions.
Get started
Facing a big decision and want a sounding board? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.