Going from a small private high school to a large public university mostly changes who notices. Advisors who knew every student, teachers who emailed home and built-in study halls give way to large lectures, self-scheduled time and offices a student has to seek out. Students who adjust well learn three things early: plan their own week, use office hours and campus resources without being told, and ask for help before grades post. Families can practice all three before move-in.
What changes
| At a small private school | At a large public university |
|---|---|
| Advisors and teachers reach out when work slips | Students are expected to notice and reach out themselves |
| Daily structure and frequent small assignments | Fewer, larger graded items such as midterms and finals |
| Teachers know every student | Large lecture courses with discussion sections and teaching assistants |
| Parents receive updates | Privacy rules generally limit what a university shares with parents without the student’s consent |
| Support is built into the schedule | Tutoring, writing centers, advising and disability services must be requested |
| A small, familiar peer group | Many communities to choose from, which takes initiative to join |
On privacy, see our guide to FERPA for parents.
Senior spring and summer: practice the new skills
- Have the student run their own calendar for school, work and activities for the last semester, with parents checking in weekly instead of daily.
- Practice emailing a teacher to ask a question or request a meeting.
- Talk through money, laundry, sleep and getting to class without reminders.
- If the student had accommodations, contact the university’s disability services office over the summer, because colleges usually require the student to register and provide documentation.
- Read the first year course registration guide together, then let the student make the choices.
The first semester
- Week 1: put every syllabus date in one calendar.
- First month: visit office hours in every class at least once, even without a problem.
- Before midterms: use the tutoring or learning center for the hardest class.
- All term: treat class like a job, with set study blocks during the day.
- If grades slip: talk to the professor and an academic advisor before the withdrawal deadline; see a bad first semester in college.
For parents
Your role shifts from manager to consultant. Agree on a weekly call time, ask open questions about how the week went, and resist logging in for them. Many students struggle quietly in October and November; a steady, low pressure check-in makes it easier for them to tell you early.
Where a mentor helps
A mentor bridges the gap between the structure of a private school and the independence of a large university. Mentoring can start in senior year, when the student practices running their own schedule, and continue through the first year with weekly sessions focused on planning, using campus resources and following through. See college transition mentoring for the first year.
- Senior year practice with calendars, email and self advocacy.
- A first semester plan built from every syllabus.
- Weekly accountability without parents having to monitor.
- Early help when a class starts to slip.
Mentoring is not tutoring, test prep, therapy or admissions consulting, and no one can promise grades or admission. Learn more about mentoring for high school students and academic coaching for high school students. Blackburn Mentoring works one on one by video nationwide and in person in Los Angeles. Book a free 20 minute intro call to talk it through.
Related
- College transition mentoring
- How college differs from high school
- What independent school families navigate
- FERPA for parents
- A bad first semester in college
- College move in checklist
Common questions
Why do some private school students struggle at big universities?
Mostly because the support that came automatically in high school now has to be sought out. Students who learn to plan their own week and ask for help early usually adjust well.
Can parents see a college student’s grades?
Generally only with the student’s consent, because of federal privacy rules for college records. Many families agree with their student on what to share.
How do accommodations work in college?
The student usually registers with the university’s disability services office and provides documentation. High school plans do not transfer automatically.
What is the most useful habit in the first semester?
Putting every syllabus date in one calendar in the first week, then planning weekly study blocks around it.
When should we start preparing?
Senior spring is ideal: let the student run their own schedule while support is still close by.
Can a mentor work with a student both in senior year and in college?
Yes. Blackburn Mentoring works with high school students and continues with college students, by video nationwide and in person in Los Angeles.
This guide is general information, not educational, medical or admissions advice. Each school sets its own policies; check with your school.
Get started
Want help turning this into a plan for your student? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or book a free intro call.
Free, by video, 20 minutes, with a member of our team. Weekdays 9 to 5 Pacific.