A teenager may benefit from a mentor if they are capable but stuck: grades slipping without a clear reason, poor follow-through, constant friction over school, or a big transition ahead. A mentor is a consistent adult outside the family who helps a teen set goals and stick to them. It is not a replacement for tutoring, therapy or medical care when those are needed.
Signs a mentor could help
- Grades are lower than your teen’s ability, and reminders are not working
- Homework and planning have become a nightly fight
- Your teen avoids starting things, or starts but does not finish
- They have pulled back from you but still need a trusted adult to talk to
- Senior year or graduation is coming and there is no clear plan
- They want to do something (get a job, get fit, learn to drive, save money) but cannot get going
- You have tried everything a parent can do and it is starting to hurt the relationship
When a different kind of help comes first
Mentoring is about goals, habits and follow-through. Other professionals cover other needs:
- Tutor: help with specific subject content. See mentor vs. tutor.
- Therapist or counselor: anxiety, depression, trauma, self-harm or other mental health concerns.
- Doctor: sleep problems, attention concerns or changes in health.
- School counselor: scheduling, school resources and college planning steps.
A teen can have a mentor and these professionals at the same time; with permission, a mentor coordinates with them. If you are worried about your teen’s safety, contact a licensed professional now. In a crisis, call or text 988. For more on the differences, see mentor vs. coach vs. therapist.
The main options
- Informal mentors: a relative, teacher, coach or family friend. Free and valuable, but often not consistent or structured.
- School and community programs: many schools and nonprofits run mentoring programs. They vary in how often teens meet and what they focus on.
- Private one-on-one mentoring: a dedicated mentor, regular sessions and structured goals, chosen and paid for by the family.
How to bring it up with your teen
How you frame it matters. “We’re getting you a mentor because you’re failing” lands very differently from “I think it would help to have someone in your corner who isn’t me.” Present it as support for goals your teen already has, invite them to the intro call, and let them ask their own questions. Teens are more likely to engage when they have had a say.
What to ask before choosing
- How often will my teen meet with the mentor, and for how long?
- Is there contact between sessions?
- How are goals set, and how is progress tracked?
- How will I be kept informed, and what stays between my teen and the mentor?
- What happens if my teen and the mentor are not a good fit?
- How do you work with tutors, therapists or schools already involved?
Our guide on how to find a mentor covers more questions.
How mentoring works with us
Each teen gets one dedicated mentor. They set goals together, break them into weekly steps and meet by video weekly or several times a week, with text and phone contact between sessions. Sessions are 30 or 60 minutes, anywhere in the United States, scheduled in your local time zone, or in person in Los Angeles.
For high school students, a parent or guardian is always involved: you join the free intro call, help agree the goals and get regular progress updates. Read more about mentoring for high school students and how mentoring works.
Related
- How to motivate a teenager in school
- How to talk to a teen who won’t talk
- Is mentoring worth it?
- For families
- Starting Freshman Year of High School: A Parent Guide
- Disorganized Teenager? Simple Systems That Stick
Common questions
What age is mentoring for?
We work with high school students, college students and young adults. For high school students, a parent or guardian is always involved.
What if my teen does not want a mentor?
That is common at first. The intro call is a low-pressure way for your teen to ask questions, and the mentor match takes their style and interests into account.
Is a mentor the same as a life coach?
There is overlap. Our mentors work one-on-one on goals and accountability, with a focus on practical, week-to-week follow-through.
How long does a teen usually work with a mentor?
It varies. Some families work through one semester or a transition; others continue longer. Plans are weekly or monthly, so you can adjust.
Get started
Wondering whether a mentor fits your teen? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.