A college freshman’s first semester usually follows a pattern: excitement in the first weeks, a dip in October as homesickness and the first exams arrive, a busy stretch around midterms and registration, and a tired push through finals. Parents help most by expecting the dip, keeping steady contact, and knowing the signs that mean a student needs more than reassurance.
August and September: the honeymoon
Everything is new. Students are meeting people, joining clubs and finding their way around. Some call constantly; others go quiet. Both are normal.
- What you might hear: excitement, lots of plans, very little about classes.
- What to do: keep your agreed call, ask about people and routines, and avoid quizzing about grades.
- Worth a nudge: making sure they know where the tutoring center, health center and academic advisor are.
October: the dip
Around the fifth or sixth week, the novelty wears off. First exams and papers come back. Friend groups are still forming. This is often when homesickness peaks.
- What you might hear: “I do not fit in,” “This class is impossible,” “I want to come home.”
- What to do: listen first. Ask what they have tried and who on campus could help. Remind them that this stage is common.
- Read more: our guide to freshman homesickness has what to say on the phone.
Midterms and November: decisions
Midterm grades arrive, along with spring registration and, at many colleges, the last day to withdraw from a class. These are real decisions.
- Ask how midterms went, once, and listen to the whole answer.
- If a class is going badly, encourage them to meet the professor during office hours and talk with their advisor before the withdrawal deadline. See dropping a class.
- Encourage them to register for spring on time and think about balance, not just requirements.
- Thanksgiving break is a chance to see how they are doing in person. Keep it restful.
December: finals and coming home
The last weeks are long and tiring. Students often sleep less and stress more. Send a care package, keep calls short and encouraging, and avoid adding pressure about grades before they are posted. When they come home, read house expectations for students on break and our winter break plan.
When to worry
A hard semester is common. These signs suggest something more is going on and it is time to step in with a calm, direct conversation:
- Missing many classes, or not going at all.
- Failing several classes, or avoiding any talk of grades.
- Going silent for long stretches, or sounding flat and unlike themselves.
- Sleeping most of the day or barely sleeping.
- Talking about dropping out suddenly, without a plan.
- Heavy drinking or drug use, or talk of hopelessness or not wanting to be here.
For academic trouble, our guide on how to help a struggling college student covers the first two weeks. For mood, anxiety or substance use, the right step is a licensed professional, such as campus counseling or a doctor. In a crisis, call or text 988.
Where a mentor helps
The first semester is when habits form: when to study, when to sleep, whether to go to office hours. A mentor works with your student weekly, helps them plan around each stage of the term and follows up between sessions by text and phone. With the student’s permission, parents get progress updates, so the October dip or a shaky midterm does not come as a surprise in December. See first year of college mentoring.
Related
- Parenting a college student
- College move-in checklist
- College time management
- The empty nest after drop-off
Common questions
Is it normal for a freshman to want to come home in October?
Yes. Many students hit a low point around the middle of the first semester. It often passes as friendships and routines settle, especially with steady support.
Should I let my freshman come home for a weekend?
A short visit can help, but frequent trips home can make it harder to settle. Many families encourage staying through the first month or so before a visit.
When should I be worried about my freshman’s grades?
Midterms are the first real signal. If several classes are going badly, encourage a meeting with the advisor before the withdrawal deadline.
What if my freshman wants to transfer?
Listen and take it seriously, but suggest finishing the year while gathering information. Our guide to transferring colleges covers how to think it through.
Get started
Want steady support in place for your student’s first semester? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.