At Blackburn Mentoring, parents of high school students are always part of the picture: a parent or guardian joins the free intro call, helps agree the goals and gets regular progress updates. For college students and adults, the client decides. With their permission, the mentor shares progress with family, so parents stay informed without the mentor becoming a go-between the young person stops trusting.
High school students: a parent is always involved
When the client is in high school, mentoring is a three-way arrangement from the start. Here is what that looks like in practice:
- The assessment. It starts with a five-minute assessment, which the team reviews personally.
- The intro call. A parent or guardian joins the free intro call. This is where you share what you are seeing at home and what you hope will change.
- Agreeing goals. You help agree the goals the mentor and your teen will work on. Goals the student helped write tend to stick better than goals handed to them.
- Regular updates. Once mentoring starts, you get regular progress updates on how those goals are going.
More detail on the teen side is on our page about mentoring for high school students.
College students and adults: updates with permission
Once a client is an adult, the relationship belongs to them. A college student or young adult decides whether family receives updates, and who. Sharing often makes sense when a parent is helping pay for mentoring or is worried about a specific situation, but the choice is theirs.
If you are the parent of an adult child, the most useful thing you can do is ask them directly, before mentoring starts, whether they are comfortable with you hearing how it is going. A yes they gave freely is worth more than one you pushed for. Our page for families covers how parents of adult children usually fit in.
What a good progress update covers
In general terms, a useful progress update tells you:
- The goals in play. What the mentor and client are focused on right now.
- Progress on the weekly steps. What got done, what is still in progress and what is getting in the way.
- What comes next. The steps planned for the coming weeks and any change to the plan.
- Where family can help. Sometimes that is a specific thing to do; often it is something to stop doing, like checking the same grade portal every night.
If something in an update worries you, raise it with the team instead of confronting your son or daughter with it. That keeps the mentor useful to everyone.
Why privacy and trust matter
A mentor can only help a young person who tells them the truth. If a teen believes everything they say goes straight back to their parents, they will say less, and the mentoring gets shallow. That is why a good update focuses on goals and progress rather than repeating private conversations.
- Treat the mentor as on your child’s side, not as a reporter for you.
- Avoid quizzing your child after every session about what was said.
- Notice the small wins an update mentions and say so, without making a big deal of it.
- Keep your own talks about school or work going; the mentor adds support, it does not replace you.
Our guides on talking to a teen who will not talk and staying connected with a college student have more on keeping the relationship open.
When other professionals are involved
If your child already works with a therapist, doctor or school counselor, the mentor can coordinate with them, with the client’s permission. Mentors are not therapists or clinicians, and they do not replace that care. If you are worried about your child’s mental health or substance use, a licensed professional is the right step. In a crisis, call or text 988.
Where a mentor helps
Many parents come to mentoring because every conversation about school, work or the future has turned into an argument. A mentor takes over the weekly follow-through, and the updates mean you still know how things are going. To see the whole process from assessment to sessions, read how mentoring works and what happens in a first mentoring session.
Related
- How we match you with a mentor
- Text and phone support between sessions
- The Blackburn approach
- Parenting a college student
Common questions
Do parents of high school students always get updates?
Yes. For high school students, a parent or guardian is always involved: they join the intro call, help agree the goals and receive regular progress updates.
Can I get updates about my adult son or daughter?
Only with their permission. For college students and adults, the client decides whether family receives updates. Asking them directly before mentoring starts is the best way in.
Will the mentor tell me everything my teen says?
A good update focuses on goals, progress and next steps rather than repeating private conversations. That helps your teen trust the mentor enough to be honest, which is what makes progress possible.
Can I join the intro call for my adult child?
If your adult child wants you there, talk with the team about it when you reach out. The intro call is also where questions about updates can be settled.
Get started
Want to talk about how updates would work for your family? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.