Working outside the family business first builds what the family business cannot easily give you: credibility you earned elsewhere, experience being managed by someone who is not a relative, and proof to yourself that you can succeed on your own. Common guidance is a few years, long enough to earn a promotion or real responsibility. Get hired on your own merit, then return with an agreed role and plan.
What does outside experience build?
- Credibility. Longtime employees notice whether you have succeeded anywhere else. An outside track record answers that question before it is asked.
- Honest feedback. A manager with nothing to lose by telling you the truth is rare inside a family company.
- Room to fail. Mistakes at another company are lessons. The same mistakes at home can become family stories that follow you for years.
- Fresh ideas. You see how other organizations handle hiring, systems and customers, and bring that back.
- Confidence. Knowing you could earn a living elsewhere means joining the family business is a choice, not a default.
- A network of your own, separate from the family’s.
How long should it last?
There is no fixed rule, and families differ. Many family business advisers suggest a few years. Rather than picking a date, it often works better to agree on milestones:
- Holding one job long enough to be fully competent at it.
- Earning at least one promotion or a meaningful increase in responsibility.
- Managing a project, a budget or a person.
- Getting a strong reference from a manager who owes the family nothing.
Families sometimes write these down so everyone knows what “ready” means. Whatever you agree, decide it before you leave, not when the business suddenly needs you.
How do you get hired on your own merit?
The point is lost if a family friend hands you the job. Treat the search like anyone else would:
- Apply to companies with no tie to the family, ideally in a field you find interesting for its own sake.
- Build your resume from what you have actually done. Our resume guide helps if your history is thin.
- Prepare properly for interviews. See job interview prep.
- Do not let a parent call ahead, and do not lead with the family name.
- Accept an entry-level role if that is what you qualify for. Starting at the bottom is part of the value.
Make the most of the outside years
- Keep notes on what the company does well and badly. They will be useful later.
- Ask for feedback often and act on it.
- Live on what you earn if you can, even if you do not have to.
- Build relationships with peers who have no idea who your family is.
- Use our guide to the first 90 days in a new job to start strong.
How do you come back in well?
Returning is its own transition. Before you start, agree in writing on a real role with a job description, who you report to (ideally not a parent), how your performance will be reviewed and what you will learn in the first year. Then arrive with humility: listen more than you talk for the first few months, and earn the trust of longtime staff before you change anything. Our checklist for joining the family business walks through those agreements.
Where a mentor helps
A mentor can help you plan the outside years, run a job search on your own merit, handle the first months in a demanding job, and prepare for the move back. Through mentoring for family business successors, you work with one dedicated mentor who checks in between sessions and stays outside the family dynamics. See also early career mentoring.
Related
- Joining the family business: a checklist
- Next generation mentoring
- Your first job after college
- Finding direction when you do not need to work
Common questions
Do I have to work outside the family business first?
No, but many families and advisers encourage it because outside experience builds credibility, confidence and perspective that are hard to get at home.
How many years should I work elsewhere?
Common guidance is a few years. Agreeing on milestones, such as a promotion or managing a project, is often more useful than a fixed date.
Is it okay to use family connections to get the outside job?
It undermines the point. Getting hired on your own merit is a large part of what the experience proves.
What should I agree on before I come back?
A real role and job description, who you report to, how you will be reviewed and what you will learn in your first year.
Get started
Want help planning your outside years and your return? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.