Joining the Family Business: A Checklist

Before joining the family business, be honest about whether you want the work or just the safety, and get outside experience if you can. Then agree on a real role, who you report to, how you will be reviewed and how you could leave. Earn respect from longtime staff by listening first and doing the work, and set simple rules that keep business out of family time.

Should I join the family business?

Ask yourself these questions, and answer them on paper:

Would I want this job if it were at a company I had no connection to?
Am I joining because I am interested, or because it is expected or easy?
Have I worked anywhere else? If not, see why working outside the family first helps.
Can I take direction from a parent or relative without it damaging our relationship?
What would I do instead, and have I seriously explored it?
If I joined and it did not work, could I leave without a family crisis?

If the honest answers make you uneasy, that is useful information, not failure. Our guide on how to make big decisions can help you think it through, and finding a career you love is worth reading if you are not sure what else you want.

What should I agree on before starting?

Many family business problems start with things nobody said out loud. Put these in writing before day one:

Your role. A real title and job description, not “help out wherever.”
Who you report to. Ideally a non-family manager, at least at first.
How you will be reviewed. The same process as other employees, on a set schedule.
Pay and expectations. Agreed openly, so nobody resents it later. Ask the family’s advisers how this is usually handled.
Your learning plan. What you will learn in the first year and from whom.
Hours and availability. What is expected, including evenings and weekends.
An exit path. How you could leave, and what would happen if you did.

Ownership, governance and inheritance questions belong with the family’s attorneys and advisers. This page is general education only, not legal or financial advice.

How do I earn respect from longtime staff?

They have seen you grow up, or they have heard about you. Either way, you start with a question mark over your head. Here is how to remove it:

Listen more than you talk for the first few months. Ask people how things work and why.
Do the unglamorous work well and without complaint.
Arrive early, keep your word and admit mistakes quickly.
Never go around a manager to a parent. Nothing destroys trust faster.
Give credit generously and take blame personally.
Hold off on big changes until you have earned the right to suggest them.

How do I keep work and family separate?

Agree on shop talk limits. For example, no business at family dinners or holidays unless everyone agrees.
Use work channels for work. Raise business issues at the office, by work email or in meetings, not by texting a parent at night.
Keep your own life. Friends, interests and time that have nothing to do with the business.
Name conflict early. Small frustrations that go unsaid turn into family rifts.
Protect the relationship first. You can find another job; you cannot find another parent.

Our guide to setting boundaries with parents has more on the conversations involved.

Where a mentor helps

An outside mentor gives you a place to think out loud about all of this with someone who has no stake in the family or the business. Through mentoring for family business successors, you work with one dedicated mentor on the decision to join, the agreements, the first year and the relationships, with check-ins between sessions. Parents and advisers can read about next generation mentoring.

Common questions

Is it a good idea to join the family business right after college?

It can work, but many families and advisers encourage a few years of outside experience first to build credibility and confidence.

Should I report to my parent?

If possible, report to a non-family manager at first. It makes feedback more honest and helps you earn respect on your own.

What if I do not want to join?

Say so honestly and early, with a clear sense of what you want instead. Most families would rather hear it before you start than after.

Can a mentor help me decide?

Yes. A mentor helps you weigh the options, prepare for the conversations and follow through, without taking sides in the family.

Get started

Thinking about joining the family business and want an outside voice? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.

Joining the Family Business: A Young Adult Checklist