This guide is for first-generation college students and the families supporting them. Much of what helps students succeed is never written down: how office hours work, what the financial aid office can do, how advising and internships fit together. Learn these systems early, ask for help before small problems grow, and expect some tension at home as you change.
What the hidden curriculum is
Colleges run on unwritten expectations that some students absorb from family and others have to figure out alone. None of this is about ability. It is information, and you can learn it. A few examples:
- Professors expect students to come to office hours, even without a crisis
- Deadlines for dropping classes, financial aid and housing are firm and rarely announced loudly
- Internship searches for next summer often start in the fall
- Asking for an extension before a deadline is very different from asking after
- Most offices exist to help students, and using them is normal, not a sign of weakness
Office hours and professors
Office hours are set times when professors expect students to drop in. Go in the first few weeks with a simple question, such as how to prepare for the first exam. It makes later conversations easier, and professors are often the path to research roles and recommendations. Our guide on talking to professors and office hours includes sample emails.
The financial aid office
Financial aid offices can explain your package, adjust it in some situations and point you to resources you might not know exist. Things to ask about:
- What each part of your package is: grants, scholarships, loans and work-study, and which ones must be repaid
- The deadline to renew aid each year, including the FAFSA, and any requirements to keep scholarships
- What happens if your family’s income changes during the year
- Whether there are emergency funds, book assistance or meal programs
- How dropping a class or going part-time would affect your aid
Bring documents, write down names and keep copies of emails. Rules vary by school and change over time, so the aid office has the final word; for personal money questions, see budgeting for young adults.
Advising: plan more than one semester
- Find out who your advisor is and book a meeting early in each term, not only at registration.
- Ask for a degree audit or degree plan that shows every requirement left.
- Ask which courses have prerequisites that must start soon, so you do not lose a semester.
- Ask whether your campus has a first-generation student program. Many do, and they often offer advising, mentoring and community.
- Before dropping a class, read should you drop a class and check with your advisor.
Internships and the career center
Many first-generation students hear about internships late, after deadlines have passed. Visit the career center in your first year, have them review a resume and ask when applications open in fields you are curious about. Build a simple LinkedIn profile, and if an internship does not come through, read making your college summer count. Our guide to landing a college internship covers the search itself.
Asking for help is a skill
Many first-generation students are used to handling things on their own, which is a real strength. In college it can backfire when small problems are left until they are big. A simple script works almost everywhere: “I’m a first-generation student and I’m not sure how this works. Can you explain what I should do next?” Staff hear this often and are usually glad to help.
Family dynamics
College can change how you talk, what you care about and how you spend time, and that can create distance at home. Common pressures include being expected to help financially or with family responsibilities, feeling guilty about being away, and having trouble explaining why things like unpaid summer experience matter.
- Share what your week actually looks like, so family can picture it
- Explain one system at a time, such as why office hours or a summer project matter
- Be clear about what you can and cannot do during exam weeks
- Remember that family may be proud and worried at the same time
For families: ask open questions, let the student handle campus offices themselves and know that wanting to stay close while they grow is normal.
Where a mentor helps
A mentor can be the person who explains the unwritten parts: what to ask the aid office, how to email a professor, when to start an internship search and how to plan the semester. Mentors meet students by video in their time zone, set weekly steps and check in by text between sessions. Mentors are not advisors or financial professionals, so official answers come from the school. See mentoring for college students and first-year college mentoring.
Related
- Mentoring for college students
- College transition mentoring
- Talking to professors
- Making friends in college
Common questions
What counts as a first-generation college student?
Definitions vary by school and program, but it usually means neither parent completed a four-year degree. Check your college’s definition if you are applying for a specific program.
What is the hidden curriculum in college?
It is the set of unwritten expectations, such as using office hours, tracking deadlines and starting internship searches early, that some students learn from family and others must learn on their own.
Who should I ask about financial aid problems?
Start with your school’s financial aid office, and bring documents and specific questions. Keep notes on who you spoke with and what they said.
How can my family support me if they did not go to college?
Interest, encouragement and patience matter more than knowing the system. Sharing what your week looks like helps them understand what you are dealing with.
Get started
Want someone to help you navigate college? Call (888) 305 5422, email contact@blackburnmentoring.com or start with a short assessment. A member of our team reviews every assessment personally and sets up a free intro call.